The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
