i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
