i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Two words: blizzard sex
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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