Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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