Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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