You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
