also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
