Joe is yelling at the trees again.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
