..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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