he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
