Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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