This is not my ceiling
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
