Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
