Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
