Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
ttyl tear gas
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
