He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
