so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
