It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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