WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
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