walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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