jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
