these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
