in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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