I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
