he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
