Non-Jews are for practice
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
