who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
