i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
