i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i dont even know how to be here
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
