Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
