i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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