when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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