BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
