Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize