I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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