why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
