Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
