I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
