I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
