Well douche your snatch and let's go!
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
