I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
