Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
