I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
