I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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