I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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