Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
