Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
