Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
