Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
