She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
