i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
