Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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